It is morning yet again. I don’t know what day it is, or what month. I don’t know what time it is; I don’t care. All I know is that it is time to wake up and I am paralyzed – not physically. I can walk, I can move my limbs, I am in perfect physical health but I just can’t move. My eyes are open but I can’t see. Everything is a blur. My life is a blur. I feel there is no purpose in it all. Why even wake up, when it’s all so meaningless? I can hear sounds, muffled noises that I can’t register. I don’t want to register them. It is all so exhausting. People are exhausting. School is exhausting. Moving is exhausting. Eating is exhausting. Talking is exhausting. Breathing is exhausting. Existing is exhausting.
I just want to lie still, lie very, very still and not wake up. I want to be undisturbed. I want to lie here for just the next few seconds, in absolute silence. It is all I can manage right now. Just the next few seconds and then the next few seconds after that. I can’t think about the day, or even the next few hours. It is all too overwhelming. It is all too laborious.
If you feel that way, chances are you’re depressed. If you’re reading this, I’m more than confident that you’re going to be OK. How can I tell? I’ve been here before. I know you’re looking for answers because you want to know why you feel that way and you want to make it stop.
This book is for you, a friend to walk you through the darkness and hold your hand in silence until the fog of depression lifts and your light shines once more. Get some answers to your questions, clarity on your issues and discover your own strength.
This book deals with: