Mind Soul

How to Find Yourself when you’re Feeling Lost
May 27, 2016
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We’ve all felt a raging disconnect at one point in our lives, that feeling of being cut off from yourself, the things you like and the people you love. Feeling lost comes with a muddling of the mind that leaves you unable to think clearly or find any direction at all. What makes it so intense is the numbness that engulfs you, so much so that you no longer derive pleasure from things you usually enjoy or even hold the same opinions about things you felt strongly about. Losing these things, having been a great part of your identity, leave you with an ambiguous sense of loss that has you clasping at straws in an attempt to recover yourself.

You’re going through a transition

The good news is that being lost, however lousy it may feel, indicates that you are going through a transition. You could be experiencing a period of tremendous growth and change which calls forth the detachment from your old self in preparation for your new self. Think of it as a rebirth – for a time you are immersed in a cocoon of transformation where everything is dark, uncertain and unfamiliar. When the old world and self falls away, you spring anew. As with everything in Duality, there’s two sides to the coin. Feeling lost could be an alarm to alert you that you have departed from yourself, your truth, and that you need to find your way back.

Turmoil often rises when souls depart from their truths.

Get to know the new you

Either way, being lost, no matter how uncomfortable the isolation is, is a positive thing. Some even delight in the experience of getting to know themselves anew, or for the first time in their lives. It is liberating, even for just a while, to set aside the performance pressures and weighty expectations of our modern-day world. It is OK to be lost. A conscious mind and self-awareness makes it easier to understand what is happening in your life and embrace it. It is important not to try and rush through the process to the end, no matter how out of your control it feels.

A deeper examination of yourself

With this is mind, try to reflect on what has brought you to this point. It has probably been preceded by some pretty intense things in your life. Perhaps a personal growth course, a loss or illness in the family or an inexplicable desire to be somewhere else, doing something different with people you wouldn’t normally be with. This is the key to unraveling the whole thing. It is also the hardest part for most people because it requires a deeper examination of self, acknowledging faults, accepting flaws and failures, and confronting the fear and acquired resistance to change. This takes courage and endurance, especially when it looks like everyone else knows what they’re doing and you feel left behind.

Choose who you become

There are important decisions to be made in the wilderness about what happens next. It is an opportunity, once again, to choose who you are when you come out on the other side of it. Keep a journal during this time to help you layout your thought process and see things with clarity. It will help you to figure things out and note down your decisions about your future on paper. Because life is a spiral that keeps bringing us back to the same issues to test the lessons we have learned, it would be wise to keep an account of the motivations behind the decisions you made. You may be reminded of them in case you forget, or be able to see them objectively in hindsight, and change what needs to be adjusted.

Read Also: How to manage your emotions

Transcend this period of uncertainty

Sticking to bold decisions takes grit. It takes a certain firmness that not everyone is equipped with. The good news is that it can be learned, but in case you don’t have it right now, try breaking down your decisions into small, achievable steps that you can work on progressively so as not to overwhelm yourself. Some people experience a lot of anxiety over the instability and uncertainty during this period. When the anxiety begins to surge, remember that this too shall pass. It will not go on indefinitely, and once you’ve gotten through it, you will come out of it feeling fulfilled and with a firmer grip of yourself. People around you will notice the changes in your life. Meanwhile, you can find solace in doing something new alone. Try out a new cooking class, yoga routine or even start a blog.


About author

Wanjiru Ndung'u

Wanjiru Ndung'u writes fiction, poetry and essays. She is an irretrievable night owl, tea-lover and cat mom. She enjoys books, alternative music, movies and streaming shows.

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